I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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