4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
