For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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