Is it normal to miss your booty call?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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