We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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