if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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