I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
