I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
