you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
