So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
