Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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