Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I lost the right to judge tonight
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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