My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
COCAINE IS GR8
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
