i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
