I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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