Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
