Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
