you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
