A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
