They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
