But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize