are you so shy because you have an std?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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