I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
