Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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