Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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