Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
