Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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