too bad you live with your parents still
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
