I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
