making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
