bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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