I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
