those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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