But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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