YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
