somebody snuck up and got me drunk
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
