so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
did you just send me my own nude
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
