plz talk dirty to me
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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