Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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