Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
