on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My breasts were aching with rage.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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