puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
