Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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