i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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