instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize