What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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