he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
