haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
