some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Randomize
