dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
