You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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