Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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