We're facebook friends in real life
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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