he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
