Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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