That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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