Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Nicole vs. Life
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
