i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He has the fingertips of a God
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
