You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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