Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
