She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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