It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
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