I can tuck mytits in my pants
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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