No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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