Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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