He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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