There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize